Ok please bear with me on this one because this could easily become quite a long post. I want to make it as positive as possible but their is no denying this a sad situation.
My marriage is over....
...there we go.
It sounds so blunt and final to put it like that but that's not really the case. There is no major drama going on, no one cheated, no one was violent, nothing like that. I think we have just grown apart. We are not the same people that fell in love six years ago. I think we just want such different things and are actually in totally different stages of our lives. I am more than ready to be a responsible settled adult but he still wants to spend all his time round his mates house. I know that sounds a little pathetic but it is so hard to explain.
I think a lot of this is just down to me and the way I feel and the way I see things. I'm not saying it's my fault that we are splitting up and I'm not saying it's his, I think it is just one of those things. Sometimes it works out sometimes it doesn't.
I don't want to ramble too much about the break up because I will just get depressed at the fact that we only made it to one year of marriage.
So what happens now?
I have no idea what my future holds, all I know for now is that it's time to finally get rid of our house. To be honest I have never fallen in love with this house. There is nothing in particular wrong with it but its never really been home.
That means it's going to be a busy few weeks making the place presentable and then a stressful god knows how long whilst it's up for sale. I hope it doesn't take too long to sell but houses round here don't go too fast to be honest.
After that I will probably have to move back home for a couple months and try to save a little bit before I move out on my own. Scary. Exciting. I don't know how to feel about it. I am trying to decide if I will be able to buy again or have to rent. I really don't want to rent because I feel like its a lot of money and in the end you have nothing to show for it. Plus it is so difficult to find somewhere that allows pets.
It's all going to work out good in the end. I'm going to make sure of that. I need to start living for me again and find some happiness. I want to start working on me and become the real me because right now I think she is hiding away.
Ok I think that will do for now :) Hopefully this wasn't too depressing.